Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Aqua and arobics

I knew that there was a karate studio in my town and for over a month I wanted to check it out. Finally I did. My brother Soufiene took me just to take a look and see which days the women’s classes were held on. The women who runs the joint, whom I had met before, told me that there was a class tonight. She told me I was welcome to come a try it out.

I wasn’t properly dressed and I knew I would have to change so I walked home with Soufiene. I was feeling nervous about going to the class and for most of the walk home I had talked myself into not going back. I was worried that I would look completely stupid not be able to understand anything that was being said.

When I got home I had 10 minutes left. I knew that I should get this first time over with. But most of all I didn’t want to let my fear stop me. I hadn’t yet here in Morocco and there was no reason to start now.

Even though I was almost 10 minutes late I was the first one there. Typical. Slowly women in long jalabas-traditional Moroccan clothing- started showing up. For the first time I was among women who were shedding their jalabas as well as their head scarves I was going to get to see Moroccan women in a way I had never seen them before doing something I didn’t think many people in my town did.

With the sounds of Aqua blaring we began running circles around the small foam padded room. These women weren’t messing around. My confidence wore as some of them blew past me on the inside. The class quickly turned into a 90s style aerobics class which wasn’t what I expected but was great nonetheless.

The language barrier wasn’t a problem at all. All I needed was eyes and ears. I mimicked everything the other women were doing and quickly learned to count to 10 in French as the women running the class yelled the numbers out constantly.

Almost nothing turns out the way you expect here in Morocco and at this point I’ve stopped fighting it. I didn’t learn any karate but I did get whipped into shape like I needed to be. I was reminded of my days at the Y in workout classes and I loved being in a place where exercise was valued.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Reflection on first six months


In celebration of my 6th month anniversary in Morocco I would like to take the time to reflect on my 1st six months of experiences.

It’s hard to believe that it has already been six months since I walked away from my parents in Detroit Metro Airport with a bag on my back and a mind full of unanswered questions. As heavy as both of those things were I felt lighter due to the confidence in my heart and unknown driving force behind me. This was the first time I would be going more than 3 weeks without spending time with my parents and the first time I was truly going it alone.

The strength within me was strong as steel but it was no match to the strength I would be building over the following six months. But it’s a funny way that my new strength was built. I was essentially broken down into a mere child, new to the world, and built back up again to an independent adult ready to handle anything.

During my nine week training program I was reduced from the age of 23 to about the age of two in many different ways. I had to learn how to walk, dress, eat, talk, even how to go to the bathroom all over again. Being with three other Americans and one Moroccan teacher helped me find my way because without them I literally wouldn’t have known how to survive.

There were so many things that I did not think I could handle during my training period. I remember in my first days wondering how I was even going to be able to buy bread for myself. Listening to stories from the volunteer in our town who was near the end of her service, I became intimidated and lost all feelings of confidence I once had back home. Without even knowing how to buy bread I didn’t know how I was ever going to be able to travel across Morocco alone.

There were days that I felt so drained due to all the learning taking place as well as so incapable of doing anything for myself. My best friend Yorda was no stranger to hearing, “tell me what to wear, tell me what to eat, tell me where I need to go” from me. Even though she was just as overwhelmed as me I often made her break things down into the simplest of all term for me so I didn’t have to think for myself.

But being broken down like that makes you realize that everything you though was so easy may not be quite so easy anymore. You are given opportunities for tiny daily accomplishments that seem so small to a Moroccan but to you are truly so big. The first time I bought bread for myself was an accomplishment. The first time I walked somewhere in town alone was an accomplishment. Day after day these things added up and I became more and more confident once again.

Many small accomplishments later it became time for us all to finish training and go off on our own to our new homes for two years. This was the most intimidating challenge of all. Weeks before this I couldn’t even picture myself alone in a Moroccan city and at this point I wasn’t even sure I was ready. But the same thing happened that had been happening since I had left home two months before. Something was driving me forward and it was something that I knew I had to do.

Thing after thing happens and I find myself surviving. Challenges arise and new experiences await and with each passing one I am built up stronger and stronger.

Being in a situation that you don’t have much ability to change you find that changing yourself is the best way to cope. Not change resulting in the loss of who you are but change that adapts you to your surroundings. I often whisper the words, God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, to myself when I am trying to get through a challenging situation. Being here for six months I am clear on the things that are not going to change because of my presence and I am still figuring out the things that I can change.

But most of all the change has happened in myself. I have grown more in my six months in Morocco than I have ever grown in my life. Literally (I gained 14 pounds). But in all seriousness I came here to see what I am made of and each day I an figuring out that I am made of some pretty tough stuff.

What I miss right now March '10

I miss:

-Going out to the bar
-Sitting on Grandma’s couch watching court shows
-Going for a weekend lunch with mom
-Schlinker’s burgers
-Trips to Target
-Being anonymous on the street
-Drivers that give right of way to pedestrians
-Driving my car
-Going out for ice cream
-Steak
-Feeling comfortable jogging outside
-Popping in on Aunt Marylynn